Inspired by this Thought Catalog article, 15 Olympic events I could actually win:

1) 5-meter dash across the room to the snooze button on my phone alarm with both eyes closed.

2) Adding items to my nordstrom.com shopping cart that I have no intention of buying.

3) Picking out the disgusting cinnamon jelly bellies, which look exactly like the delicious cherry ones.

4) Instagramming my shoes.

5) Ditching the healthy lunch I packed for potato chip-stuffed PB&Js at my parents’ house.

6) Navigating my SUV through the Pearl on First Thursday.

7) Being in love with Sloan McQuewick.

8) Marathon pinning.

9) Lip syncing to my iPod on the treadmill.

10) Being pale.

11) Planning fictional events in excruciating detail. (Color scheme! Menu! Playlist!)

12) Picking the slowest lane on the Highway 26W on-ramp.

13) Pretending I’m Carrie Bradshaw when I wear a particularly mismatched outfit.

14) Mom dancing at weddings.

15) Making lists.